Journal Entry #1

I wasn’t going to write this tonight. I thought I could wait until tomorrow. But I can’t. I’m angry. So angry. Angry at myself. Angry at the world. Angry that I’m the only one around me who feels this way.

I’m angry at the state of things. At how people just stand by, watching the world burn. Everyone’s too afraid to make a change, too comfortable to push back. Why do I feel like I’m screaming into a void? And I’m not saying there isn’t anyone out there willing to stand up, I’m just saying my sphere of people appears to be lacking the motivation. I see people pushing back and then I see some of those same people eventually folding.

And then there’s me. I’m angry at myself, too. Why can’t I think things through? Why do I keep letting this anger take hold? But maybe it’s not about thinking things through right now. Maybe it’s just about feeling something real in a world that’s become numb.

Did we mess up so badly in another life that we’re stuck in this mess now? Did we make some mistake we can’t fix? I don’t know anymore. All I know is I’m angry. Angry that we’re separated when we should be uniting. Angry that fear is controlling us.

I’m not radical. I’m not extreme. Though I’ve had thoughts about setting fire to every corporation that donated money to project 2025. I just want to fight for what’s right. I want to stand up for people, for humanity. But no one else seems to care enough. They’d rather stay silent, stay afraid, stay stuck in this system that’s slowly suffocating us all. And while they may applaud me from their couches, their actions would have been more valuable.

Maybe I’ll stand alone in this fight. Maybe I’ll be thrown in jail or end up buried under this mess. But I won’t let fear control me. I won’t be another person who sat back and watched it all burn. No matter what happens, I’ll keep fighting—because I believe in something bigger than this world of lies.

😮‍💨I feel better