This is 26 🎉🎂🥳

Let me start by saying: today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me.

And let me finish by saying: my patience is being tested at record levels.

We all know I don’t like when things don’t go my way. Now multiply that by ten—because it’s my birthday.

People love to tell me what they can and can’t do. It’s always me compromising.

I hate being there for people who don’t show me the same courtesy.

I hate when people don’t respond to my messages.

I hate when I ask a question and people act like they didn’t hear me.

I hate how inconsiderate people are.

I hate the games people play.

I hate that when someone disrespects me, I have to get out of character just to be heard—and still somehow end up the bad guy.

I hate putting others’ needs before my own.

I hate not getting everything I want.

I hate not being able to control everything.

I hate that my blog doesn’t get much traffic.

I hate how much I think about people who don’t think about me.

I hate how people always make everything about themselves.

I hate when my dog doesn’t listen.

I hate not being understood.

I hate people who play victim.

I hate compromising.

I hate failing.

I hate when God doesn’t talk to me.

I hate not feeling like myself.

I hate feeling insecure.

I hate feeling unloved.

I hate feeling ignored.

I hate feeling like I can’t be myself.

I hate feeling like I’m not important.

I hate feeling like I’m not special.

Though I’ve expressed my feelings through this post I still have so much anger. There is still so much left to say. I have a feeling at the bottom of my heart. Discouragement scapes the depths of my brain. Irritation is at the root of my emotions. On the edge of becoming numb and forgetting the world and its people. Forgetting that I care for people, forgetting they have emotions and they too need someone to lean on. But when am I going to stop letting people have full access to me when I barely have partial access to them?

I know this is kind of negative for my birthday—but honestly, what better way to start it off than with a little cathartic writing?