I’m torn. My brother is graduating tomorrow—yayyy, but I have a class. I’ve been waiting a week to talk to this teacher about my grade on a test. It’s stressing me out because I know I did better than the grade I was given. And there’s been nothing more pressing on my mind.
I know it should be a no-brainer, he’s my family I should be there for him. He, for the most part, has always been there for me. There may have been petty instances where I felt like he wasn’t but he kind of always is. My siblings and I were all we had growing up.
I want them to know that I’m their rock, their cheerleader, someone they can always count on. But I also want nothing more than to get straight A’s this semester. I want to be the best. I don’t want to be “just another student”, I want to be valedictorian.
I have high hopes and dreams. I want to set an example for all of my siblings and be there for support in all of their journeys. I want to do it all.
I feel a pull to put myself first. My family would. So why is this such a hard decision for me to make?
What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t go? Would they look at me with hurt expressions? Would they be indifferent? Would they understand? Or would they feel unloved?
But tell me a time the best has put anyone else before themselves? Especially for siblings who are disrespectful and don’t value the time you try to spend with them outside of formal events.
The ambitious side of me has taken over, and while I do feel undervalued by them, I get it. I’m the oldest, so I can’t complain. I’ve been a teenager before and was raised by the same individuals they were. They have the right to be selfish, but why can’t I be?
I don’t know exactly what college I want to go to after I graduate from VCC. I slacked around a lot during my first few years of school. I went to a major university (out of state) ended up in a crazy amount of debt came back to my home state slacked off more, took time off and reenrolled again. Coming in at a 1.4 GPA. And yet my dream is to attend an ivy league school. Not because people will know I’m the best, but I’ll know I’m the best. There’s no room to slack off now.
If chasing your dream meant disappointing your family, would you still do it?
Echo R.S 