Happy Father’s Day to all the real fathers out there.
I ended up calling off work and going to my dad’s dinner. Honestly, I didn’t think I would after our last falling out, but I showed up anyway. He thanked me more than once—I think he was surprised. But we had a great time, and I’m glad I went.
After dinner, I spent the rest of the night with my siblings. My little brother’s a father too, and he loves to bowl, so we went out for him. I came in third place—and of course, my brothers loved rubbing that in. It was funny though.
Later, back at my dad’s house, one of my brothers started watching Love Island. At some point, he called one of the women on the show a whore for having a “high body count.” That’s when I tensed up—because if I’m anything, I’m a woman’s woman.
He said a woman with 25 bodies is worse than a man with 50. He even called some friends to weigh in. The men agreed with him. The women? Mixed responses—but most still leaned toward blaming the woman.
Their reasoning?
“Women should have more self-control.”
“Men will sleep with anything—it’s just what they do.”
So that makes it okay? Because men “can’t help it,” they’re off the hook?
Why isn’t it just as dirty?
Then someone used the old metaphor: too many pens in the same ink contaminates the ink. But if we flipped it—if a single pen had been dipped in too many inks—suddenly that’s fine?
That logic is so deeply flawed, it hurts. And the women who co-sign it? You’re part of the problem. You’re enabling men by excusing their behavior and holding other women to a standard those men will never meet themselves.
Even the Bible leans into this imbalance. Adultery is centered around women. When women cheat, (sleep around) it’s called adultery. When men cheat, it’s a mistake. A misstep. Something to be forgiven.
Why?
Because we’re “supposed” to have self-control? Or because men have spent centuries telling us we should?
Is this biological—or conditioning?
Because if you ask most men why they have been with so many women, they can’t even tell you. Some will even admit to just being bored.
If men were truly “meant” to sleep with multiple women, then who are they sleeping with—if women aren’t supposed to do the same?
They want women in categories—“wifey material,” “a fling,” “for the streets.”
But God forbid a woman has a side piece, a husband, and a trick—suddenly she’s a hoe?
Funny, because at least her options might offer something other than STDs.
The truth is, the girls they claim are “for the streets” aren’t that different from the ones they praise as “wifey material.” The real difference? Circumstance.
Maybe she didn’t have a father around. That’s the classic excuse.
Or maybe she did—and watched him play women like a game.
And now that’s what she thinks love looks like.
Behavior rubs off—not just on sons, but daughters too.
You say you don’t want your daughter to live like that—but you still desire and pursue women who do? Make it make sense.
The truth is: you view women as objects.
You hate that another man might be capable of pleasing us even more.
Because for all your chest-beating bravado, your ego is paper-thin.
All it takes is one seed of doubt to break it. One better man. One better memory.
So you reach for what you’ve always used—shame.
You call us “whores,” “hoes,” “bops,” “thots,” and whatever new word you invent next—
Not to protect women, but to control them.
You want us silent. Modest. Ashamed.
Ashamed of the power we have.
Ashamed of the fact that we could never need you as much as you need us.
Here’s the truth:
Men have been threatened by female sexuality since the beginning of time.
They hate how much power lives between our legs. So they try to control it, take it, regulate it—because deep down, it controls them.
Let’s be real.
It’s not that women need men.
It’s that men need access to women.
Women don’t need to jump from one man to another. But a lot of men do jump from woman to woman—because they don’t know how to sit with themselves.
How many men do you know that aren’t texting, flirting with, or “talking to” at least one or a few woman?
Exactly.
They will even text girls they have zero interest in just to be surrounded by feminine energy.
We’ve forgotten our power. We’ve let them run unchecked for so long that some of us started believing we’re the ones who have to prove ourselves. To them.
When are we going to stop making excuses for them and start respecting ourselves again?
And if you’re young, if you don’t know your worth yet—listen up. These men will use you, sleep with you, and then mock you behind your back. They’ll brag to their friends about what you gave them, but never give you the love you deserve.
Stop settling for five minutes in bed when you could have a lifetime of self-worth.
You want to fix these boys who think:
“Me big. Me strong. Me have meat between legs.”
That’s your king? Really?
Men who’ll humiliate you just to make their friends laugh? Men who are only loyal to their ego?
Wake up.
They need us. But they’ll keep making you believe you need them.
Echo R.S 