Personal Essay – Page 6

Journal entry #2

With all the chaos in the world, I have to say that tonight was a win.

It started with a bowling outing for my uncle and granddad’s birthday. The experience wasn’t perfect—the food was terrible, cold, and the place smelled like sewage. On top of that, the lanes shut down as soon as our two hours were up, and we couldn’t even finish the final round. Oh, and it cost $53 for those two hours. Still, despite all of that, being with my family made everything feel perfect.

I was spending money like I didn’t have bills to pay—bills I’m barely making enough to cover—but nothing compares to the value of time spent with family. They’ll never know how deeply I feel about them, but I love them so much.

After bowling, I headed straight to a hookah lounge to meet up with my friends. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion—just jeans and a casual top from earlier—but I didn’t mind. Spending time with people I love was more important than worrying about what I had on.

When I got there, my friends were in the middle of an argument. It happens sometimes, but I like to think I helped lighten the mood. By the end of the night, everyone was vibing, including some strangers from the sections next to us.

As I sat there taking it all in, I couldn’t help but reflect. Places like this always remind me of who I used to be—someone constantly seeking attention and validation from men. I used to think dressing provocatively was empowering, but it often left me feeling the opposite. Now, I’m intentional about how I present myself, and I understand that the energy I give off plays a big part in the kind of attention I attract.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for women dressing however they want. But I’ve learned that what I wear and how I carry myself directly tie into what I’m looking for. I know some women might not agree, but for me, dressing with more intention has helped me focus on what truly matters. It’s no longer about who’s looking at me but about how I feel about myself.

At the end of the day, I had a great time with my family and friends. For a moment, it made me forget about all the evil in the world. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

Journal Entry #1

I wasn’t going to write this tonight. I thought I could wait until tomorrow. But I can’t. I’m angry. So angry. Angry at myself. Angry at the world. Angry that I’m the only one around me who feels this way.

I’m angry at the state of things. At how people just stand by, watching the world burn. Everyone’s too afraid to make a change, too comfortable to push back. Why do I feel like I’m screaming into a void? And I’m not saying there isn’t anyone out there willing to stand up, I’m just saying my sphere of people appears to be lacking the motivation. I see people pushing back and then I see some of those same people eventually folding.

And then there’s me. I’m angry at myself, too. Why can’t I think things through? Why do I keep letting this anger take hold? But maybe it’s not about thinking things through right now. Maybe it’s just about feeling something real in a world that’s become numb.

Did we mess up so badly in another life that we’re stuck in this mess now? Did we make some mistake we can’t fix? I don’t know anymore. All I know is I’m angry. Angry that we’re separated when we should be uniting. Angry that fear is controlling us.

I’m not radical. I’m not extreme. Though I’ve had thoughts about setting fire to every corporation that donated money to project 2025. I just want to fight for what’s right. I want to stand up for people, for humanity. But no one else seems to care enough. They’d rather stay silent, stay afraid, stay stuck in this system that’s slowly suffocating us all. And while they may applaud me from their couches, their actions would have been more valuable.

Maybe I’ll stand alone in this fight. Maybe I’ll be thrown in jail or end up buried under this mess. But I won’t let fear control me. I won’t be another person who sat back and watched it all burn. No matter what happens, I’ll keep fighting—because I believe in something bigger than this world of lies.

😮‍💨I feel better

To my Brothers and Sisters

To the Black Community

From the yn’s to the nonchalant, from the old heads to the woke folk—why have we allowed them to strip us of our power? Across the United States, I see so many African Americans sitting idle, unwilling to stand up for their rights. We watch our TV shows, cheer for our sports teams, and act as if nothing is happening while the government continues to do as it pleases.

To the yn’s so quick to turn on each other—where are you when the real fight arises? And to those who claim they “don’t care,” understand this: as we speak, they are spitting on the graves of your ancestors. They’re basically saying, “Fuck you and your grandaddy’s rights,” “We’re gonna keep fucking you over and you’re not gonna do a damn thing about it.” Waiting for someone else to save you, when in reality, you are the ones chosen to do the saving.

You’re here for a reason—not to roll over and take this treatment but to make a difference. To fight for a better future. We’ve been peaceful for so long, and no, I’m not saying we should burn down every corporation that funded Project 2025. Of course not—that would be crazy to say. And yet, I understand the frustration that might lead someone to consider such a thing. Not promoting it, of course.

And to the Uncle Tom ass celebrities who’ve sold out to the white man, you’ve set us back decades. For what? Your greed? Your selfishness? Your worship of money—something you can’t even take with you when you die? You should be ashamed. You shouldn’t be asking for handouts or favors from these elites, but it’s clear you’re only looking out for yourselves. Fuck the rest of us, right?

No wonder why the angels don’t like us. How could we deserve heaven when we’ve been forgiven time and time again, only to keep making the same mistakes? Jesus died for us, and yet, so many carry this attitude of, “We’l I didn’t ask Him to die for me, I live for me.” (Went over some heads). So many have strayed away from him. I’m guilty myself and also undeserving. But I hope the Lord can forgive me and all those who seek refuge in him, especially in these dark times.

Even if I stood up and fought for us, would this generation even follow? Would we unify? Would we strategize? Would we finally stand together? Or are we too far gone?

I hope I’m wrong. I hope we find the courage to unify, fight, and stand up for ourselves before it’s too late. Because if we let them silence us—if we let them strip us of our rights, our voices, our power—what will be left of us?

“To the most hated man in the World”

You’ve managed to make yourself the enemy of nearly everyone—America, the world, and even truth itself. The irony of a narcissist like you is this: you believe the world should adore you, even as you sow chaos and destruction. Your actions—unleashing people who share your twisted worldview and spreading poison into the world—do not go unnoticed. They will never go unnoticed.

You are no leader, no visionary, no savior. You are a false prophet. And those who follow you? They are either greedy, blind, stupid, or just as malicious as you. To the ones who were deceived, even with the truth staring them in the face, I pity you. Your inability to think critically is a tragedy in itself.

And to the Black people who’ve been bought and sold by your lies—those who’ve traded their culture and their ancestors’ sacrifices for a seat at your corrupt table—you are the greatest disappointment. Do you remember the blood spilled, the lives lost, the resilience of our ancestors? They fought and died so you could have the freedom to stand tall, to thrive, to live with dignity. Yet, you spit on their graves every time you choose money over principle, greed over integrity.

To those who still follow this man out of selfishness, fear, or blind devotion, I pray you find your way back to righteousness before it’s too late. But to those who knowingly embrace this evil—those who profit from it, perpetuate it, and revel in it—you deserve the hellfire you’ve earned.

D.T., your reign of fear and destruction should be classified for what it is: terrorism. You are a terrorist. The damage you’ve caused, the fear you’ve instilled, and the hate you’ve spread will never be forgotten.

May the lost find their way, and may the wicked reap what they have sown.

No judgement though 💨

To the unofficial president

You are the richest man in the world, surrounded by a team of some of the most brilliant minds alive. Yet, with all those resources, you choose to wield your power for purposes that often seem more destructive than uplifting. You flirt with religion, throwing out absurd comments about a “new god” rising from Egypt. I don’t know what god you worship, but it’s not the God of creation; not our lord and savior Jesus Christ—it’s giving Satan, the great deceiver.

For someone who has amassed unimaginable wealth and influence, you don’t seem like a very wise man. Your public persona often mirrors that of a man-baby—someone who relies not on wisdom or true intelligence but on the brilliance of those around you. It makes me question how you became the richest man in the world, though maybe that speaks to the broken systems that reward cunning over character.

Do you truly believe the entity you serve—whether that’s greed, pride, or something darker—cares about you? The Devil is no savior. The same way you have the wealth to give every person on this planet a billion dollars ten times over and wouldn’t lift a finger if the world were burning, is the same way the Devil wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire.

True power doesn’t come from wealth, nor from technology, nor from the fleeting applause of this world. True power comes from God—the God who creates, restores, and redeems. No amount of rockets, algorithms, or manufactured idols can replace Him. I hope you come to understand this truth before it’s too late.

No judgement though 💨