Tag Archives: love

“Not for Everyone, and That’s Fine”

Why did this man text me snapping? He clearly has issues, and I’m so glad I never went on a date with him. He called me a hoe, and when I fired back, he hit me with the usual—telling me I’m alone, that my box must be trash, that I need to focus on the fact that I’m single at 25, how it’s going to bring him joy that I have a period every month. Not knowing that I happen to really enjoy my period; makes me feel like a woman. And honestly, that just proves my point: a lot of men of this generation have lost their minds. I don’t tolerate disrespect. But I’m still mad at myself for even giving him my energy.

Marriage and having a man? Of course, I’d love that one day, but I’m in no rush. I don’t want to wake up 30 years from now regretting a decision I made just because I felt pressured. I want to know what I can tolerate, what I can live with. I don’t want to settle and end up resenting my own choices. Right now, my focus is on me and my career.

I don’t fit in with a lot of people, and maybe that’s because I’m very honest. Or maybe it’s the way I carry myself—with confidence love and self respect. But some people perceive that as I think I’m better than everyone. People just assume things about me before even getting to know me. They will never know the trials and tribulations I went through to even become the woman I am today.

When you’re leveling up, there’s always something trying to hold you back. I have to let go of anything pulling me down. That includes men like him. The men who hate women and only want to use women for their bodies.

I don’t care about the things other people obsess over. Sex is whatever at this point—it’s all men seem to think about, and I’m just over it. The second I call them out for treating me like an object, suddenly I’m a hoe, I play games, I’m not even pretty. Same tired story.

And then there’s the women who don’t like me for no reason. But I knew this was coming. I was getting along with too many people, and I wondered when the shoe would drop. I’ve never been a social butterfly. I keep to myself for a reason.

I know the truth about myself, and that’s all that matters. I’m self-aware. I trust my own eyes. I trust my own instincts. People may not see the error in their ways, but I do. And no one likes being corrected.

Why Dating Feels Hopeless Right Now: A Woman’s Perspective

Tonight, we joked about how I might end up a spinster. It’s a wild thought, but maybe there’s some truth to it. I’ve spent my life surrounded by men—nine brothers, raised by my dad, and working in a male-dominated environment. I hear how men talk, and let me tell you, it’s a lot to unpack.

Men don’t love the way women do. Once a man gets his heart broken, every woman who comes after has to measure up to his ex. Instead of healing, many become distrustful, using their past pain as an excuse to treat women poorly. I’ve seen men juggle multiple women, not because they’re looking for love, but because they’re trying to fill the void she left. Lust is easier than vulnerability. They don’t want to risk getting hurt again.

• Different types of men I’ve encountered

Married men tend to have the most wandering eyes. The so-called “good guys” often come with their own set of problems. Many are socially awkward, lack confidence, or have bad hygiene. The rest are already taken, have kids, are too old, too young, or live too far away. They’re rarely fun or mentally challenging. On the flip side, attractive men walk around like they’re God’s gift to women, their egos so inflated it’s exhausting. They have so many women throwing themselves at them, they forget how to be a decent human being, because females let them get away with everything. Military men? The worst offenders. I get that they’re busy, but they act like their schedules are the only ones that matter. Maybe I need more attention than they can give, but the attitude they carry is unbearable. Like, thank you for your service, but fuck you, my nigga.

Even the men who aren’t conventionally attractive have the most to say about what a woman should be. What kind of life she should’ve lived. Who she shouldn’t have spread her legs for. They judge women while holding themselves to the lowest standards. They’ll criticize a woman’s past while ignoring their own, treating women like used cars that lose value over time. It’s frustrating how deep the hypocrisy runs.

•A cooked generation

Men will say things like, “Women are supposed to have more self-control than men.” Maybe that’s a societal norm, but I refuse to accept it. Men are supposed to lead, so what happens when generations of men have been cheating, beating, and using women? You get a new generation of women who have learned to cheat, beat, and use men. I’ve never seen so many women cheating in my life. The example men have set is now coming back to them, and they can’t handle it.

These same men will wine and dine women, act like their boyfriend, then sleep with them, use them, and toss them aside like nothing. And if a woman dares to say she feels played? They respond with indifference, like, “Yeah, and?” Then they judge her, conveniently forgetting the role they played in creating that dynamic. Sure, some women are okay with being used, but not every woman is willing to put up with the mess men bring to the table.

Men ask for so much while giving so little. They want youth, beauty, and obedience, thinking more with their dicks than their hearts or minds. And it’s not that I want to hate them. There’s so much to love. They can be hilarious without trying, incredibly sweet when they want to be. I admire their strength, their confidence, their desire to protect. Some make my workdays easier, lighter. But their egos? That’s where they lose me. Maybe it’s just the men I’ve surrounded myself with or maybe the men I’m looking for don’t exist anymore.

Seeking Truth in a World of Deception

A lot is happening. A lot has already happened. In the midst of it all, I find myself returning to Christ. I don’t mean to distance myself from family and friends, but right now, my focus is on understanding God—truly understanding Him—so that there is no doubt in my heart that I am following the right path. With everything going on in the world, I find refuge in the Lord.

And yet, I understand why people struggle to believe in Him—I struggle too. How do you put faith in something you’ve never seen? The Bible is filled with accounts from men appointed by God, men with gifts beyond human comprehension. It makes me wonder—what if those whom society labels as mentally ill, like people with schizophrenia, are actually experiencing visions of truth that the rest of us cannot see? In scripture, prophets saw things others couldn’t. What if some people today have been given similar gifts, but instead of being believed, they are silenced—written off as insane?

The Bible speaks of spiritual warfare. If Satan is truly the ruler of this world, is he imprisoning those who know too much? Silencing those who could reveal the truth while deceiving those who live freely? My mother and her brother, both diagnosed with mental disorders, once claimed they saw the underground world—an inverted reality, like Stranger Things’ “Upside Down”—in a swimming pool behind a convention center. I didn’t see it myself, but I can’t write it off as impossible anymore.

Deception and Control

More and more, we hear about unexplained phenomena—alien sightings, unidentified aerial phenomena (UAPs), and stories of extraterrestrial beings walking among us. Years ago, these ideas were dismissed as fantasy. Now, as reports increase, they are becoming harder to ignore. We trust the government to tell us the truth, but what if they don’t even know what’s really happening? Or worse—what if they do?

Take the case of Andrew Dawson, the man who filmed what appeared to be a giant on a mountain. His video went viral, but when he tried to get a closer look, he was stopped by a CIA agent. He began being followed by unmarked cars. He was coerced into recanting his story. Soon after, he died under mysterious circumstances—but not before saying that everything he had claimed was true.

Why does the government work so hard to suppress certain information? What truth are they trying to keep from us? They may say it’s for our protection, and maybe in some cases it is. But if mere humans are willing to go to such extreme measures, what lengths do you think the Devil will go to in order to keep you from finding out the ultimate truth?

The governments of this world are not just corrupt—they are spiritually compromised. Whether they realize it or not, they operate under forces beyond human understanding.

Spiritual Warfare in Politics and Culture

I believe Donald Trump is being used by dark forces. While I don’t think he is the Devil himself, I do believe he is being influenced by Satan—or at the very least, by his followers. The enemy has surrounded him with forces he cannot shake because he does not truly know God or Jesus. And he is not the only one. The influence of darkness is everywhere.

Look at the music industry. The songs we consume glorify infidelity, violence, and greed—the opposite of God’s teachings. Entertainment and media are powerful tools, and many believe they serve a darker purpose. Artists like Taylor Swift, Lil Wayne, and Rihanna have openly referenced—some even praised—Satan in their music.

Even in everyday life, we are surrounded by subtle signs of deception. The commercialization of basic necessities, like food, contradicts the very nature of God’s provision. We were never meant to hoard wealth while others starve. If we take from those who have less, how can we claim to be followers of Christ?

For centuries, we have been deceived. Desensitized to the truth. From stories romanticizing mermaids and vampires to the branding on our favorite coffee shops. Take Starbucks, for example. The logo features a siren—a mythological creature known for luring sailors to their doom. She holds both her tails up in a way that suggests seduction and entrapment. It may seem trivial, but that’s the point. We dismiss it as nothing, failing to recognize how deeply ingrained these symbols have become in our culture.

The Question We Must Answer

If people acknowledge Satan’s existence, how can they deny God’s? One cannot exist without the other.

In a world that exalts pride over humility, we convince ourselves that we know best—even when the truth says otherwise. The ways of this world are not God’s ways, yet humanity clings stubbornly to its own understanding, refusing to accept that we might be wrong.

No one has seen God, and perhaps we never will. But He owes us no proof. It is we who must prove ourselves to Him.

Journal entry #2

With all the chaos in the world, I have to say that tonight was a win.

It started with a bowling outing for my uncle and granddad’s birthday. The experience wasn’t perfect—the food was terrible, cold, and the place smelled like sewage. On top of that, the lanes shut down as soon as our two hours were up, and we couldn’t even finish the final round. Oh, and it cost $53 for those two hours. Still, despite all of that, being with my family made everything feel perfect.

I was spending money like I didn’t have bills to pay—bills I’m barely making enough to cover—but nothing compares to the value of time spent with family. They’ll never know how deeply I feel about them, but I love them so much.

After bowling, I headed straight to a hookah lounge to meet up with my friends. I wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion—just jeans and a casual top from earlier—but I didn’t mind. Spending time with people I love was more important than worrying about what I had on.

When I got there, my friends were in the middle of an argument. It happens sometimes, but I like to think I helped lighten the mood. By the end of the night, everyone was vibing, including some strangers from the sections next to us.

As I sat there taking it all in, I couldn’t help but reflect. Places like this always remind me of who I used to be—someone constantly seeking attention and validation from men. I used to think dressing provocatively was empowering, but it often left me feeling the opposite. Now, I’m intentional about how I present myself, and I understand that the energy I give off plays a big part in the kind of attention I attract.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for women dressing however they want. But I’ve learned that what I wear and how I carry myself directly tie into what I’m looking for. I know some women might not agree, but for me, dressing with more intention has helped me focus on what truly matters. It’s no longer about who’s looking at me but about how I feel about myself.

At the end of the day, I had a great time with my family and friends. For a moment, it made me forget about all the evil in the world. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

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